Pack and Unpack.

Packing up is simple.

Gather all the books, separate the academic ones from the others, make a list and put them all in a box.

Take the clothes now, segregate the dirty laundry, box them up. Pack up the shoes, throw away the pair of those broken sandals, leave behind the newspapers and other papers to dance to the tunes of the wind in the empty room.

Pull down the curtains on your hostel life. Those curtains are heavier now. Filled up with some dust but mostly memories. There! look at the mattress devoid of the bed sheet, see the table deprieved of the books and stationery, look at those bare walls after you’ve brought down those posters and photographs.

The scheme is easy, work in a mechanical fashion. Do not be sentimental, do not stare at the things while you pack. Try not to think of all the episodes associated with all those items. Do not think of your friends and associates. Most importantly, try not to cry. You may experience a lump in your throat-ignore it- you may feel your eyes get welled up- subdue the feeling- big drops of water may trickle down your cheeks-wipe them- but just don’t cry! Stay Strong.

And then, everything is packed up. Everything is boxed up. All five years. One long journey, few small boxes.

After all, its all dust. Its just bricks and concrete. But stay there for sometime, fill it up with people, with friendly conversations, with personal items and voila! you have a home.

Pack up one chapter of life and unpack another. That is how it always works.


Things coming to pass

As an infant, I had long hair and wore earrings. I was often mistaken for a girl. And I despised it. I despised my feminine voice and longed to possess a heavier tone. I always wanted to be an adult when I was a kid. But I was small and thought it would take forever for me to achieve puberty. But that day did indeed come. Testosterone spiked.My voice cracked. Hair sprouted on my hitherto tender cheeks and voila! 

In 2012, I joined the law school. I was due to graduate in 2017. When I joined the Law School, there was a President who had just occupied the Rashtrapati Bhavan and Uttar Pradesh had chosen its youngest Chief Minister. It would take a long long time before 2017 shall arrive-I told myself- 9 semesters later, 2017 stares me right in the face. 

All the things that we love, we do not love them enough till we either lose them or are on the verge of it. The fear of loss increases our love for something manifold. So I missed my childhood only after I became an adolescent. 

I am in my final year at the law school. With just one semester to go, my sense of attachment with my alma mater is strengthened with each passing hour. But one semester is all I can hold on to it. 

I spent the first year cribbing over the fact that despite my good rank in CLAT I failed to secure the law school I aimed for. But later the feeling faded away and all I felt for my college was affection. When my ninth semester was over and I packed my bags for vacations, I realised how much this departure pained me. 

Life is full of changes- both desirable and undesirable. We all know that there are many things which we wish to keep tucked away in the back of our minds and focus on the present. Leaving the college is one such thing. But no matter where we may try to bury those things, what is meant to arrive at the right time, will indeed arrive, things destined to occur shall inevitably come to pass. There is no remedy for it. 

Time has let me down. I am deeply disappointed in it. Why does it have to travel faster in moments of emotional upheavel? 2016 shouldn’t have ended this fast. 

I hadnt hoped 5 years, five long years would fleet in such haste.

I hadn’t hoped departure shall come so, so soon.