Let me start with the beginning.
I am a mediocre law student. I am in the fourth year of my law school at Dr Ram Manohar Lohiya National Law University, Lucknow. I have always been average at school. I like reading and talking. Apart from Dramatics, I dont think I have been bestowed with any great gifts either.
But since a long time, I have had the desire to write. A desire I am fulfilling right now. The obvious question that arises is why do I write? I am not an exceptional writer. My writings are basically influenced by the good number of novels that I have read all my life. Whether or not I am an original thinker or not, I do not know, I leave that to the judgment of the dilligent reader.
So coming back to the point, why do i write?
Three reasons essentially which I shall elucidate in detail.
I shall be using ALIF, BA, DJIM to indicate A,B,C. These are alphabets of Ottoman Turkish. (Why I use them? Well… Its just classy. Deal with it)
Alif– In his autobiography, Benjamin Franklin states an important reason for his writings, his desire to leave something behind for his posterity. In other words, a legacy. We inherit the earth for a very short period and that is the only time we have to leave a mark that people can remember you for. I strongly believe that there are two chapters in every person’s life. The first chapter consists of her physical existence, as long as the person continues to breath. The second chapter of her life starts upon the end of a person’s mortal remains. Yes, the idea of dying without a voice scares me, I dont wish to fall silent without letting the posterity to know about me. I dont want to die without telling my story. Even if there are no takers for it.
Ba– I also write for my family and friends. I am aware that my elder brother Shashi will undoubtedly read and scrutinise every word I produce and so will my father. Among my friends as well, there are atleast some if not many who wouldnt mind sparing some of their precious time to read the junk I generate. My friend Abhilash too religiously reads my writings.
If you have a following, you can never cease to make them happy can you?
Djim– But the most important reason why I write is for myself. I write for pleasure. As stated above I hardly have much purpose in my life. In a life full of sham and dissapointment, writing is perhaps the REAL thing- one which makes me fuller and happier. As Osho Rajneesh had said- One must learn to be selfish. If you cant be selfish and love yourself, you cant love others too.
The greatest Hindi poet, Goswami Tulsidas who wrote the Ramcharitmanas, the epic surrounding the life of Lord Rama in the 16th Century himself stated that he had written Ramcharitmanas not for the world, not for the sake of praises but for himself. For his own happiness what he termed as स्वान्त: सुखाय।
Newton too worked for himself taking most of his researches and discoveries with him to the grave, revealing only a limited extent of his work in Principia Mathematica.
So, being selfish aint that bad either. Well, Ayn Rand has written an entire book titled THE VIRTUE OF SELFISHNESS. I hope to read it someday.
This is why I write. It is however a pity that the idea I hatch in my mind does not fully take the form of words, but whatever little meaning it conveys is true and real and beautiful.